What now?!

Growing up is strange, as is getting older. When you’re a little kid – you can’t imagine ever being 16 and being able to drive, then that milestone passes and you can’t wait to graduate high school, another milestone and you keep checking them off one by one. Graduating college, getting a job, getting married, having kids…

The biggest milestone I’ve sailed right past in my life thus far is getting married. Being a girl that was raised on Disney films I have been, not so patiently, waiting for my prince charming for as long as I can remember. I kissed my fair share of toads that didn’t turn out to be my prince, and then the Lord brought me Sean. Granted, our story didn’t pan out exactly as I had it planned in my head, but that’s life, right?!

See, I got married, and now I don’t know what to do with myself. Silly isn’t it? But the desire of my heart for so long was to get married – and now it has happened. I think that I really always thought that once I got married – I’d have it all figured out. My life would be exactly as I’d want it. I would have ‘arrived’. Well I don’t know where my preverbal trains stop was – but I do not feel as if I’ve reached it.

After settling into the routine of life after marriage I’ve found myself thinking, ‘Is this it??!’ Maybe I put too much expectation on what marriage would bring me – or maybe I foolishly thought that at some point you officially became a grown up and had it all together and walked out the rest of your life fulfilling the destiny God breathed in you – and after marriage was that time. Whatever I was believing – it left me feeling empty. Annoyed with how my life was going. Don’t get me wrong – there aren’t any major life issues I’m dealing with – just an overwhelming sense of discontentment.

So, I went to church on Sunday as usual, and as soon as worship starts, what happens? I start crying. My tender little heart that is aching for substance, for purpose, for meaning, finds it. At the feet of my savior. Instantly I felt the Lord say to me, “Lauren, you’ve been looking in all the wrong places for fulfillment. Work, friends, Sean. These things do not bring you fulfillment – I do. I am the giver of all life.”

I figured something out right then – if I do nothing of value or worth for the rest of my life, except sit at the feet of my savior – I will have lived a fulfilling life.

Crazy isn’t it. God didn’t give me some huge directive to accomplish, or mandate a task, He simply told me to sit.

Philippians 3:7-8

“I once thought these things were valuable – but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage so that I could gain Christ.”

Ecclesiastes 12:7 &13-14

For the dust will return to the earth and the spirit will return to God who gave it. Everything is meaningless says the teacher, completely meaningless…

            That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.

 

 

      Lord, help me to sit at your feet, for the rest of my life. Help me to not find my worth and value in anything but you. I am yours - THAT is who I am. Your daughter, beloved, bride, precious jewel. May my life be incense rising up to heaven. May I live for you, and not myself. Help me to not get caught up in what the world tells me I should be, and help me to be content in being yours. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for dealing with me tenderly. I love you, with all of my heart. Amen. 

God is love

ok, OK, O STINKIN’ K.

I’ve heard enough about chick-fil-a to last me a lifetime. And you know what?!! This girl has an opinion.

I have NO idea what Jesus would have done if he lived in modern times and Chick Fil A existed. My GUESS is that he would have been at a homeless shelter, or in someone’s house teaching, not eating waffle fries (I don’t think they are kosher?). Does that mean you’re a bad person for supporting the restaurant that makes me feel like fast food is slightly acceptable? Nope. Does it mean that you are a better person because you didn’t go to Chick Fil A and you’re learning to make your own chicken nuggets at home out of protest? Nope.

Let me tell it to you straight.

1. We are ALL sinners.

2. Our political views will NOT get us to heaven.

3. My God is LOVE, not hate.

4. Love does NOT mean compromising the truth.

If Jesus walked on this earth today where would he stand on Gay marriage, or abortion, taxes, or a myriad of other political topics that Christians and non-Christians alike get hyped up over? I have an idea – but I THINK (opinion only folks, I’m not God) that He would emphasize that its people’s hearts He is after, not their votes. When Jesus did walk on the earth, He did not seek to overthrow governments, much to the Jew’s dismay. He walked, loved, prayed, taught, healed, died, and rose again.

So here’s the thing, no matter what side of the fence you fall on, if you profess to be a follower of Christ I think we should remember a few things. God loves people, and hates sin. Our human minds can’t process that because we think that if someone does something we don’t like, we don’t like them. WRONG. You don’t like their actions, not WHO THEY ARE.  You can dislike what people do AND who they are – but that’s a horse of a different color. It’s much like loving a child – when they throw fits and tantrums and drive you up a wall, you don’t just stop loving them because their behavior doesn’t please you at the time.

Aren’t you glad God is a really good dad? And He doesn’t stop loving you each time you mess up? He is a God full of grace, mercy, and love. THAT is something worth emulating. We are called to LOVE those who are difficult to love. That means, people who don’t share your political views, religious views, moral standing,  who are rude to you, talk bad about you, take advantage of you, steal from you…

Matthew 5:38-48

38“You have heard that it was said, ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.’ 39“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41“Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

43“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I’m NOT perfect. And I struggle with actually loving people who are hard to love. But THAT’S my goal. Love everyone, all the time, no matter what.  Loving them does not mean I have to be ok with their actions, it means looking past the action to see the person, in need of love, grace and mercy.

Lord, please help me to do this in my life. You know how hard it is for me to do this, and how my little heart gets hurt by people. Help me to forgive them, and love them. Help me to love others like you do so that I can be your hands and feet. Help me to not love people out of selfish gain, but to love unconditionally. Teach me to live like you did, loving, forgiving, healing, teaching, walking, and dying for you. Forgive me for not loving people better. Forgive me for my failures. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me all the time. Amen.

XOXOX,

Lauren