Through Hell and Back

This week has been a beast. Not in our marriage per-say but in EVERY OTHER AREA OF LIFE. Seriously. A part of me feels like we’ve been bunkered down waiting out our own emotional Hurricane. I’m sure you know the feeling, of just wanting it all to stop so you can be left to nurse your wounds. That’s how I’ve felt all week/all month. I’m weary of it all, and would like to press the pause button and eat some cookie dough in my jammies thank you very much!

However, on Tuesday Sean and I made it to Seven, the young adults service at church,  and the holy spirit bought up something Pastor Steven said to my mind this morning – while I was crying mind you. Pastor Steven was talking about how often in prayer meetings or other such events people will say things like ‘let’s stir ourselves’. I’ve never heard that phrase before but he went on to explain that it’s a normal and Biblical practice, of simply reminding yourself of what the Lord has already done in your life. You see, when you remind yourself of where you’ve been and how God has been faithful to bring you out of those things, you can’t help but look at your current cirsumstances and say ‘We will get through this too’. I’ve always been a huge fan of doing this. I try to do a small version of that each day in my quiet time, to simply remind myself – hey you’re blessed.

Today though, I wanted to sit with my thoughts and write out a list, a list of all that the Lord has done in my life. In no way will this be an exhaustive list, but I know that whatever I put down here will help me, and maybe it will help you. It’s November and if you haven’t already seen the mass of ‘month of thankfulness’ posts on Facebook – I encourage you to take it a step further. Make your own list. Take some time out of your day and write down all the things you can think of that the Lord has already brought you through. It will bless you, I’m sure of it.

So here goes, my ‘Through Hell and Back’ list:

1. The whole ‘Sean leaving for Afghanistan situation’. I was angry, distraught, and let down by the prospect of Sean leaving for Afghanistan. But God was faithful to me, even when I was SO unfaithful.

2. Never once have I, or someone in my family gone hungry. Financially this year has been hard on all of us, but never once have we not had enough. He has always provided.

3. He has never left me or forsaken me. Even when I did the best I could to leave Him.

4. The Lord has healed my heart of so many wounds – I still need more healing and more work, but He will continue the good work He began in me.

5. My hearts greatest desire was to be married. I’m married, to the most wonderful man I could have imagined.

6. He’s forgiven me. Time and Time again.

7. He loves me, even when I don’t love myself.

8. Nothing can harm me. Truly harm me, because my eternity is sealed.

9. He has spoken such clear words to me in the past. The Lord told me Sean wouldn’t have to go overseas – and he didn’t. He will speak to me again – and does.

10. He has physically healed close personal friends of mine – He will heal my body.

11. He gave my friends babies, when they thought they couldn’t have them.

12. He comforted me when I was alone.

13. He gave me friends, so I wouldn’t have to be alone.

14. He gave me a roommate when I didn’t have one and needed one.

15. He gave me a job when I asked.

16. He gave me a wedding photographer – TWICE.

17. He’s taken care of my Dad’s business - and will continue to do so.

 He is so faithful, and so good. I hope you can see the evident hand of God in your life, because I promise you it’s there. We are His treasured possession, and He loves us so much more than we know.

Thank you Lord, for all the things you’ve done in my life, mentioned and not. I KNOW that you are good. Thank you for carrying me when I’m weak. Thank you for being tender and gentle with me. Help me to know that you are near, that you haven’t forgotten me. Help me to trust you with my whole life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.