The biggest milestone I’ve sailed right past in my life thus
far is getting married. Being a girl that was raised on Disney films I have
been, not so patiently, waiting for my prince charming for as long as I can
remember. I kissed my fair share of toads that didn’t turn out to be my prince,
and then the Lord brought me Sean. Granted, our story didn’t pan out exactly as
I had it planned in my head, but that’s life, right?!
See, I got married, and now I don’t know what to do with
myself. Silly isn’t it? But the desire of my heart for so long was to get
married – and now it has happened. I think that I really always thought that once
I got married – I’d have it all figured out. My life would be exactly as I’d
want it. I would have ‘arrived’. Well I don’t know where my preverbal trains
stop was – but I do not feel as if I’ve reached it.
After settling into the routine of life after marriage I’ve
found myself thinking, ‘Is this it??!’ Maybe I put too much expectation on what
marriage would bring me – or maybe I foolishly thought that at some point you
officially became a grown up and had it all together and walked out the rest of
your life fulfilling the destiny God breathed in you – and after marriage was
that time. Whatever I was believing – it left me feeling empty. Annoyed with
how my life was going. Don’t get me wrong – there aren’t any major life issues
I’m dealing with – just an overwhelming sense of discontentment.
So, I went to church on Sunday as usual, and as soon as
worship starts, what happens? I start crying. My tender little heart that is
aching for substance, for purpose, for meaning, finds it. At the feet of my
savior. Instantly I felt the Lord say to me, “Lauren, you’ve been looking in
all the wrong places for fulfillment. Work, friends, Sean. These things do not
bring you fulfillment – I do. I am the giver of all life.”
I figured something out right then – if I do nothing of
value or worth for the rest of my life, except sit at the feet of my savior – I
will have lived a fulfilling life.
Crazy isn’t it. God didn’t give me some huge directive to
accomplish, or mandate a task, He simply told me to sit.
Philippians 3:7-8
“I once thought these things were valuable – but now I
consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes everything else is
worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my
Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage
so that I could gain Christ.”
Ecclesiastes 12:7 &13-14
For the dust will return to the earth and the spirit will
return to God who gave it. Everything is meaningless says the teacher,
completely meaningless…
That’s the
whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands,
for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including
every secret thing, whether good or bad.
Lord, help me to sit at your feet, for the rest of my life.
Help me to not find my worth and value in anything but you. I am yours - THAT
is who I am. Your daughter, beloved, bride, precious jewel. May my life be incense
rising up to heaven. May I live for you, and not myself. Help me to not get
caught up in what the world tells me I should be, and help me to be content in
being yours. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for never giving up on me.
Thank you for dealing with me tenderly. I love you, with all of my heart.
Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment